What's your Barbie Description?

5 years ago, my hilarious sister Jennie made a reference to Barbies for all of her siblings. I doubled over laughing then, and I laughed again when I found that I'd saved it. Enjoy!


Peterson Barbies!!! By, Jennie
Thursday, July 22, 2004

Thank you for your Utah Barbie Best Sellers! If you'd like to own a family of Barbies we have a collection of the Petersons from South Jordan, UT. 7 Boys and 3 girls are what you'll find with a mom and dad. So far these are our best sellers. For more information on each Barbie please read below:

Joshua Barbie: This male Barbie comes equipped with many adventurous things. You'll never find a Joshua Barbie with out a few guns by his side. It's only $.99 extra for each extra dead rabbit, but those are sold separately. Sorry ladies, he was recently hitched to one of those Tooele Barbies sold last month. Joshua Barbie will do anything that you might need done. He'll co-sign, hook you up with some free sky miles, and show you how to country dance. If you're in need for a good laugh and a great time, Joshua Barbie is the one for you!

Barbie Ben: Another male Barbie found in Orem, UT is quite the doll. We all know there are ladies out there who just love computer nerds! This Barbie comes with a free lit up computer. Other than working on the computer, you'll find him taking pictures, taking more pictures, video taping, video taping some more, golfing, sleeping, or eating. You'll never miss a special moment with Barbie Ben. He has all of the footage to make memories last a life time!

Barbie Jamie: One of the three top sellers of the family, this gorgeous female barbie will help you with all of your children's needs. She never hesitates to breast feed in front of anyone. You'll never have a starving child with Barbie Jamie. Her long brown hair only needs to be washed every few days, and her legs can be shaved around the same time. You will never get bored with Barbie Jamie and you'll save so much time not having to keep up on hygiene. She comes free with nail polish and enjoys you to play with her hair.

Barbie Charlie: If you are in search for a Barbie like Ken, Barbie Charlie is for you! This football, x-box playin lover comes free with a football. Barbie Charlie does not like to wear clothes, so those are sold separately. Towels are on sale and are one the shelves below. Barbie Charlie may be confusing about the girlfriends you may find for him. He can't quite make up his mind on which on he wants for the week, but Barbie Lacey( Jennie Barbie's best friend) is in his best interest at this time. Barbie Lacey is on sale now, but only for a limited time. Barbie Charlie is also homeless and car-less, but those may be bought separately.

Barbie Mary: Also one of the three top sellers of the family, you will find Barbie Mary always helping others. She comes free with anything you'd like. If you need it, it's free. Barbie Mary recently had a new shipment come in with a new hairstyle and these are selling like crazy. Barbie Mary needs a boyfriend, so if you see any male barbies you think would be a match for her please purchase one and tell the store manager. Thank you. Barbie Mary loves to fold her toilet paper before each use.

Barbie Paul: Barbie Paul's are rare and only found in Boston, but if purchased is quite a treat! He comes free with his dog named Chubs. Barbie Paul loves to play football, but is mostly known for his heinous stench. Some of the toy makers and producers may say that he was made with a little bit more air than the other Barbie Dolls. Barbie Paul's fun and wittiness is always worth the extra air. Him and Barbie Charlie may feel that they have bigger muscles than appear, but toy makers and producers also may say that their heads were made a little larger than the others. Barbie Paul is the funnest to be around and play with! :)

Barbie Ephraim: This doll may be the most expensive, but well worth the money. He comes free with an American flag and is clothed in an Air Force uniform. Barbie Ephraim is proud to serve this country. He likes to run around and snort and act weird, but all of those around him love him. Barbie Ephraim has many accomplishments. He loves to swim in the Jordan River. Not many people in the army can build a zip line and swim in a river without getting a disease. Barbie Ephraim comes free of disease and would be a great gift for any veteran.

Barbie Sam: This Barbie won't be out for sale for 10 more months, but has a waiting list. Barbie Sam is quite amazing. This doll can email you funny stories to make you laugh. He comes free with email and a suit. A recent news article hit the stands about Barbie Sam, and none of which are true. He is funny, charming, and knows how to get the lady's. Barbie Sam is great for children. All kids love him and has been their favorite this far. If you'd like to get on Barbie Sam's waiting list, please contact MeKenna Barbie( Barbie Sam's ex-girlfriend) and she will make sure you get on the list.

Barbie Jennie! This Barbie is the WORLD's Greatest! Nobody has ever been able to make a Barbie quite like Barbie Jennie. Equipped with perfect features and a free Celine Dion CD, this Barbie won't let you down. You may need to hurry because all of the boys are buying her and our supply of Barbie Jennie is running out quickly. SHe is our very top seller. She enjoys shopping and anyone is welcome to buy her anything. Please note that Barbie Jennie's birthday is on August 21st. She needs new pants, earrings, a new car and money is always excepted.

Barbie Jake: Barbie Jake is the youngest of all of the Barbies. He's kind of like Skipper, but a boy. Barbie Jake comes free with a fishing pole and basketball. Barbie Jake is so so cute and you just want to hug and squeeze him all day long. Sometimes this doll gets a little bit lonely so please purchase a few friends to play with him. Please avoid purchasing Barbie Jennie with Barbie Jake because Barbie Jake tends to torture Barbie Jennie. Barbie Jake is the cutest of all of the Peterson Barbie's. Please keep him in mind for birthdays or any occasion. He is a great gift!!!

Mom and Dad Barbie will be announced at a later time.

Jennie, please write mom and dad's soon!