I mentioned to my mom yesterday that I think I have anxiety. WOW, she jumped on that bandwagon and tried to prescribe to me a doctor's visit for a physical or her own herbal ritual. I think nadda!
After mulling over this for a few minutes this morning, I've come to think that I don't have anxiety but a lack of purpose right now, so I have everything else to worry about which would make anyone anxious. (I've already worried about going back to work and that is still 3 weeks away!)
I've figured I am a happier person when goals are set and there is something out there to achieve for myself. I've been walking around since the beginning of July just trying to figure out what to do. No wonder I am so bored, I have no long term, or short term goal.
If you know me, I rather jump from one thing to the next, keeping myself busy and on the go. The faster and fuller the plate, the more personally rewarded and accomplished I feel. That is until my hormone levels outway the plate and the tears spill everything over, and the stupid stuff makes me upset and mad. I truly hate it, I shouldn't be crying, or venting or depressed about whatever the tears came for. Then my mom catches wind and says, "You need to center yourself.", "You need to say no.", la la la. She believes that I typically keep a plate full to run from my own personal, emotional issues. If that is so, no wonder my summer has been a drag, no projects to keep me running!
Do you want the goods on issues? They are quite simple.
1st issue: Body image- So typical of females, it's something to roll your eyes over.
2nd issue: Singlehood- What unmarried active mormon chic isn't thinking "When?"
3rd issue: An unhappy marriage that rubs off on me and makes me feel apathetic to people I love. It's truly upsetting.
I am sure there are other things that I have issues with, but I am sure those are the most evident. Now let's all remember the quote of the day from my own mother given just today, "You can't change others, you can only change yourself."
While all sarcasm has it's own truth, you have to read the Mormon Satire site I linked today. It's called Seriously So Blessed. It makes me kinda puke, because I know the people who really act "seriously so blessed!"
5 years ago
6 comments:
Mary I love you!
Pat, I love this blog. You say it so well and IF I didn't know you at all I would understand you perfectly still. I am just wondering why you haven't called or come to see me if you are looking for purpose and something to do. Also, I've yet to hear if you're coming to Ephraim in two weeks to the temple with us. Your mom and you are so funny and I'm glad you talked about "anxiety" I couldn't agree more with the purpose and project thing. Get busy and take care of YOU! Love Ya Girl and JUST BE HAPPY DAMMIT!
Well Mary, you have a really good book to read!!!!
Issues not to worry about:
1. Body Image...you are beautiful! Hop on the treadmill everyday and make it "YOU" time. Enjoy it, not to change your body but to make you feel good.
2. Marital Status...HE is out there! He is preparing himself to be good enough for you. He is building a castle for you and will soon find you and sweep you off your feet.
3. Other relationships...I have to somewhat agree with you here, but on the other hand we have to live our own lives and not make it our problems. I like what you said about fixing ourselves.
Anyway Mary, know how much we all love and appreciate you. You are amazing and we all are thankful for everything you do for us! Life is great--enjoy it. Good things come to those who wait!
Natalie
The funny thing is Mary, most people feel this same as you feel but are afraid to talk about it. We all need to feel we have a purpose. It is just the way humans are. It is hard to go day-to-day without some idea of where we are going and what we should be doing. That being said, you are wonderful and even more importantly, perfectly normal. Enjoy your single years because they'll be gone before you know it and you'll have a whole bunch of other stresses to worry about. I have come to the conclusion that you have to enjoy the time of life you are in. You don't see it now, but you'll miss it once it is gone. Hang in there!! You can always come visit us as well. Claire would keep you busy. :)
Oh Mary- you need to come and visit in Idaho. We don't care what we look like here in Idaho and I bet we can get you hitched soon enough. As far as marriage problems- if they aren't yours don't worry about it. What can you do about it anyway. Signing off- Hick's in Idaho =)
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